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HKDan
Seeker
Joined: May 24, 2008
Posts: 48
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Aug 27, 2008 - 07:20 PM |
 
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| Post subject: 'friendly' colleague |
I have been in my present company for a while and its common knowledge that i try and practice my mandarin as much as possible. All fine and dandy except a recent phenomenon. I tend to work late most evenings and a colleague (a junior) likes to come over and talk mandarin with me. its starts of with him saying a few things but then it turns into a him teaching me naughty words etc which is a real bore. Other colleagues laugh on and I guess its hillarious fun but its getting tedious. Of course, when he strides over in teh evening its easy for me to say '**** off you bore' as I would back in the UK but this is China and there is a whole different way of dealing with such things here. I mean, horror of horrors, he may lose face if I said this to him in front of others. Imagine the horor. If I pulll him to one side he will feel intimidated and the whispering grapevine will swing into effect. if i tell my Chinese boss that i want him to cool it then my boss may feel i have issues with staff managment. I could ignore him when he comes over but it will look childish. I could smack the crap out of him but it will not go down well with the 'team'. Any advice?oh, and I am I right to assume that me practicing manadarin with work colleagues during the day is likely to spiral out of control? |
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p1atl10
Board Royalty
Joined: Mar 18, 2005
Posts: 6011
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Aug 27, 2008 - 07:45 PM |
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I vote for "smack the crap out of him"....but that is just me.
I would find a quiet moment when no one is around and express my gratitude for his efforts at helping you....but tell him that you are in the office to work, and would he please not spend so much time. Suggest that when you want assistance....you will go to him. |
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.....Dave Barry |
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amig
Barker
Joined: Apr 26, 2007
Posts: 125
Location: suburbia
Status: Offline
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Aug 27, 2008 - 07:52 PM |
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Stand up and walk off everytime he is approaching you. After awhile, he will get the message. |
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Cylon
Rocker
Joined: Mar 28, 2006
Posts: 701
Location: Hongkou, Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Aug 27, 2008 - 08:06 PM |
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Iamunique
Lurker
Joined: Apr 19, 2008
Posts: 24
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Aug 27, 2008 - 08:10 PM |
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Perhaps your colleague believes that foreigners accept and indulge in this type of behaviour? Maybe you need to teach him what is culturally acceptable in your country. Outline your expectations regarding communication and appropriate behaviour. You sound as if you are reaching boiling point and yet you have not clearly stated that this type of interaction is unacceptable.
If this behaviour continues after you have outlined the boundaries, then you have my permission to beat the crap out of him....he's obviously beyond help. |
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Bohica
Reacher
Joined: July 25, 2008
Posts: 277
Status: Offline
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Aug 27, 2008 - 08:16 PM |
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Pound him into oblivion. It will send a message. |
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leimus
Newbie
Joined: July 14, 2008
Posts: 6
Status: Offline
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Aug 28, 2008 - 06:48 PM |
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Starting talking about his mom/grandmother/sister/etc with the dirty words he keeps teaching you, but say it in a joking fashion. He'll get offended and probably will react nervously but won't confront you. This puts him in a mood to leave or talk about something else, in which case you have the option of talking about something else. |
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Zak101
Raver
Joined: Jan 20, 2003
Posts: 387
Location: Suzhou
Status: Offline
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Aug 28, 2008 - 07:07 PM |
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You could just say "I have something to do"......
I hear that so often from Chinese co-workers. It means everything from "I need to buy new pencils" to "I'm scheduled for a medical procedure that will fix an unfortunate error of judgement" |
_________________
الله أكبر |
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adahc
Seeker
Joined: May 16, 2008
Posts: 47
Status: Offline
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Aug 28, 2008 - 08:05 PM |
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| p1atl10 wrote: |
I vote for "smack the crap out of him"....but that is just me.
I would find a quiet moment when no one is around and express my gratitude for his efforts at helping you....but tell him that you are in the office to work, and would he please not spend so much time. Suggest that when you want assistance....you will go to him. |
That's a good approach. Not the smack the crap part but finding a quiet moment part...but do it nicely though.
I see it as the other form of bully from the locals......should not tolerate! |
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sweenytodd
Reacher
Joined: July 10, 2008
Posts: 211
Status: Offline
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Aug 28, 2008 - 08:31 PM |
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cylons' got the best answer. I've been through this and I always let new or over eager "juniors" in a nice shrug off joking manner manner - "no, no, don't start with that - no way!" and they all get the hint without getting offended.
There was a guy from across the "border" who kept indulging in political issues and the above method didn't work so I let him know in a simple words - i don't want to talk about these isses - they don't interest me!  |
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SnappySammy
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 9612
Status: Offline
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Aug 28, 2008 - 09:13 PM |
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I think you need to let him know that while you appreciate his help, you really want to learn proper words before you learn the nasty words....My guess is he will quickly tire and in a short time stop helping you... |
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Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy |
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aristonb
Seeker
Joined: Sep 19, 2007
Posts: 43
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 09:55 AM |
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I would think that he will get tired of it soon enough as time goes on. Plus a polite thank you I'm busy at the moment will do the trick. Works great for me. |
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860115huang
Barker
Joined: Mar 10, 2008
Posts: 159
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 01:46 PM |
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He may think you are interested in those nasty words. Just tell him your real thought about what he said in a right occasion. As your co-worker, he'll understand you. If not, do what you want to do. And other co-workers will stand by your side. |
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andyfff
Rocker
Joined: July 03, 2005
Posts: 680
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 02:33 PM |
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You are there late to work, right? So just say you have work to do.
Also, I have found that the best way to get rid of people who want to practice their English with me, is to give one word answers until they give up and walk away. If you continuously look at your computer screen while giving just one word answers, he will eventually get bored and leave. |
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travelinjack3
FooJay
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 1709
Location: Right Bank
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 04:23 PM |
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Cut off his head and dump him in a canal. |
_________________
If the billy goat was Bootsie and the troll was Maceo, then only the Godfather of Soul can really take you to the bridge. |
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Snippets
PopStar
Joined: Apr 09, 2005
Posts: 1098
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 05:31 PM |
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Tell him you would like to return the favor and start teach him the same level of rubbish he is teaching you in Chinese, but start each phrase off with "Your mother"... followed by words like "sucks.. spits/swallows... 5 kuai hooker..." and so on.
Be modest and laugh out loudly as you say each one loud, telling him that your phrases are not nearly as good as his. |
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Snippets
PopStar
Joined: Apr 09, 2005
Posts: 1098
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 05:34 PM |
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p.s. Whenever weird stuff like this happens to me, I will always ask "Is this a Chinese cultural thing that I've never learned about before? You seem really proud and eager to teach me so I'd like to know if it is..." |
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ckfactor
Talker
Joined: Feb 12, 2008
Posts: 75
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 07:52 PM |
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Just act a little crazy, say as much random stuff as you can think of. Or talk so fast he gets confused, or use slang. If you are British or say Australian, talk local. If you confuse the hell out of him eventually he will walk away. |
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Zak101
Raver
Joined: Jan 20, 2003
Posts: 387
Location: Suzhou
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 08:20 PM |
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How about, very,very slowly : " I don't need your help. Go away " |
_________________
الله أكبر |
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RussianBear
Ranter
Joined: June 25, 2008
Posts: 533
Status: Offline
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Aug 29, 2008 - 09:43 PM |
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Or you can very friendly talk like that: "don't teach me ,best invite me to visit Seafood Paradis, ok ? I love crabs, etc ! I quess "for keeping face" he will agreed..And everytime he come - ask him about the day.. He will get lost fastly. |
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